Bad Manners 1 - Table Manners

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/healthy-living/virginia-ironsides-dilemmas-is-using-a-mobile-phone-during-dinner-bad-manners-878557.html



The article above talks about people using their mobile phone whilst dining, and if reading whilst eating is bad manners, then texting etc, should be too.

What might be considered bad manners in one country may be acceptable in another, and infact acceptable in one house, might not be acceptable in the house next door.

So are bad table manners purely subjective, or can we say that some behaviours are unacceptable no matter what society you belong to?

Getting up from the table without first excusing yourself?
Chewing your food with your mouth open?
Sitting properly?

I guess in a culture where so many people either eat alone or watching tv, all of the above lose their meaning, as manners only seem to matter when someone else is on the receiving end of them, but I say that whether or not people are present, we should still maintain a level of behaviour that suggests we are a civilised society.

Fly-Tipping, Wrong Doings

In response to Josephine's blog on people dumping rubbish in the countryside I have a number of points to add. http://dantesinferno64.blogspot.com/2009/03/i-spy-with-my-little-eye.html

1. this is just the same sympton of a society that drops rubbish out of car windows, instead of putting it in a bag and taking it home with them. I was brought up by a mum who always took rubbish home, and wouldn't dare to drop a sweet wrapper etc, so would have my pockets full instead. Is it because people don't see their environment as being part of their "home", think its someone else's job to clear up, or don't they care? the "someone's else job" response just goes back to a number of blogs on responsibility, and people's inability to take responsibility for their own actions

2. It is more than just the view that they are spoiling, but also the danger that rubbish poses to wildlife - but hey why should they care. Hopefully our children may be better educated to understand the damage that rubbish can do.

3. Our council has an excellent rolling rubbish schedule and regularly come round to collect large rubbish that you cannot leave in the bin, furniture etc, it is well publisized, and if you don't mind the embarassment of being caught also serves as an excellent opportunity for recycling - if you get up early you can see what other people have left and save the bin men a job!

There are no excuses for it, its laziness, in a "i'm alright" society

Bad Press

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2304109.ece?CMP=KNC-FBLgoogle&HBX_PK=ashley+cole&HBX_OU=50

After reading this article in the Sun concerning the antics of Ashley Cole, it occured to me that Newspapers have a huge responsibility, and indeed power which should be exercised more carefully. The article implies that Ashley was behaving inappropriately with a blonde whilst his wife was raising money for charity, but how do most readers of newspapers know what the truth is?

We are in the habit of taking what we read to be fact, without questioning its accuracy, and then make judgements based on what we have read. Newspapers can make stars of us, or destroy us, on a whim.

They have the power to distort our view of the world - I recently read the John Sergeant's autobiography, which contained an interesting tale of him reporting in Vietnam on the war there. They ran weekly radio reports, publicised as coming from the frontline, but the reality was that he was miles from any of the action, and what he reported was only what he was told, and he had absolutely no way of verifying the facts.

We are all aware of the fact that countries such as China, etc, report what they want their citizens to hear, but is our press any better?

Music Free Buses

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6175604.stm

Why do people think that everyone wants to listen to acid/garage/house (or similar eardrum splitting melodies) at 7.30am in the morning on their way to work. I wonder if

1. they think that because it is being played through headphones no-one else can hear

2. they don't even consider the experience of their fellow travellers.

I sit quietly trying to do the sudoku, whilst listening to 3 different people's Ipods, none of which are playing anything that I either recognise or indeed has lyrics or a tune. I guess the answer would be "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" but don't I have rights too.

Still it could be worse, I once had to suffer 2 lads playing sex videos through their mobile phones to each other, which were loud enough that you could hear the action. They had no consideration for the fact that the rest of the passengers perhaps did not want x-rated bus entertainment, nor the fact that there were children and pensioners on the bus. What happened to respect for our elders?

It seems that we live in a country where people seem so interested in their own needs/wants that anybody else's rights aren't even on the radar. They are so pre-occupied in their own lives that they don't consider anyone elses. If everyone used the simple "do unto others, as you would have them do to you" the world, (or at least the No 70 bus) would be a much happier place.

Maybe Ken Livingstone has a point.

broken trust - response to wrong doings blog

I so agree with the comments made by Josephine in this post, but it seems to be that what she is ultimately asking for is courage, which not everyone has. http://dantesinferno64.blogspot.com/2009/03/broken-trust.html

Any sort of deceipt, will hurt someone, but it takes courage for a partner to tell another that actually they don't love them anymore. Do they think it is kinder to keep these words to themselves, carry on the lie, and find happiness elsewhere, believing that this way they are not hurting anyone? Yes the truth will hurt, but lies hurt more, and we can all get over the fact that things have changed but can we recover from the lies? I think not.

I was taught as a child to admit my errors, and was punished more for not admitting to wrong doings than coming clean. So should we applaude our children for the truth, or punish them for their mistakes? Should we teach them to not be frightened of the truth, or to cover up their mistakes. I know which one I think is right, and what I teach.

Prostitution

In response to Kate's blog on prostitution,
http://katenicola89-kate.blogspot.com/2009/02/prostitution.html
and in particular whether women that accept drinks, etc from men are asking for trouble if they don't come up with the goods, I would say that if people said what they really meant rather than using non-verbal communication all the while the world would be a much easier and in fact safer place to live.

The assumption here "that if a man buys a woman a drink, he is then entitled to some sort of return on his investment" is an old fashioned and quite frankly homocentric idea of the world. What is wrong with a man buying a woman a drink, or paying for her taxi just because he can and wants to be "nice"? Have we really stooped so low that we have to look for the motive behind every act?

I guess it is not the done thing to say to someone "yes, I'd love a drink, but it doesn't mean I want to sleep with you!" Infact if us women said that to most men, they would run a mile; some men can't cope with assertive women...... and just like men wouldn't say "Do you want me to buy you drinks all night until you are too drunk to realise how unattractive I am, and so come home with me?" but its probably what they are thinking.

Sorry all of this is tongue in cheek, but really we all interpret the non-verbal signals given off during this dating/picking up ritual, and 9 times out of 10 get the signals completely wrong.

If you give anything freely in any circumstances that is exactly what it should be a gift, no strings attached, if you expect something in return then don't give in the first place - this is not the essence of giving.

So back to my first point, we ought to start a date but letting everyone know where we stand so we can spend the rest of the night having fun, rather than thinking about what he really thinks, what she really thinks, and playing silly games, all for the sake of a shag!